Trouble at the Baby Factory
By Ella Smith
When a company deals with the creation of new humans, we as a society have certain expectations from them. One of which being that they check who the DNA they received belongs to before brewing up a human being from that said sample.
But the baby factory has been known to cut corners for years, putting efficiency of production above the quality of production. That is not to say that those born at the factory incubators are lesser in any way. Some of the greatest minds and beauties of our time were created at the factory.
But in the process of mass baby creation, they have made plenty of jaw-dropping mistakes. Such as that time when they created the same person over twenty times, because of a data typo. They had to scatter them around the whole world to dilute the potential personality dominance in one place.
Then there was that time when one of their engineers inserted parts of his DNA into a year’s worth of babies. I mean let’s be honest, we’re a little bit suspicious of anyone born in the year 2164.
But I think this new mishap really tops the cake. A new baby has been born that is the mixture of dozens of celebrities unbeknownst to them. Apparently, this baby’s legal parents have been collecting the DNA of famous people for decades. Stalking them at restaurants, waiting for the end of a meal to steal a straw or a cup, rummaging through trash cans, and picking hairs off the heads of the famous ones, while waiting in line behind them.
The outcome: a super celebrity baby born in an automated pod in the Baby Factory.
What will become of this child born from the DNA of the most famous people of our time? Will the celebrities ask for custody? How would custody be divided among dozens of rich people? A different parent every day? Will it be super famous? Will we worship it to an extreme? Is this how the Messiah was destined to appear before us? Well, I hope that godly creature looks like one of the Pitts-Jolies and has the charm of Shepherd-Bells. If I were to follow someone, better they look like them and be fun like them.
