The Intergalactic
Space Chronicle
CULTURE
The Edible Hat War
The saying, to eat one’s hat, originated from Dickens's Pickwick Papers in 1836. It later turned into an idiom that expressed one’s own willingness to eat something absurd, such as a hat, should his or her statement be proven as incorrect. But in 2060 this idiom went through an odder mutation.
A VTube news anchor Gogo Nice Paw, made the false statement that Elon Musk would be going through a tech-transitioning, in which he would be replacing all of his external parts with artificial organs.
When Elon remained a fully organic human by the end of the year, the Vtube star decided he must find a way to show remorse for his false statement and regain some public trust.
Gogo Nice Paw had a hat made of chocolate to fit his head perfectly. He wore the hat during a live feed and after he apologized for the statement, he took the hat off and ate it before a wide audience.
A year later Elon Musk did have all his organs replaced with artificial ones. He then jokingly ate his own edible hat on Gogo Nice Paw’s show, as a friendly kindness.
In time eating an edible hat had become a fun social ritual as a way to put one’s ego aside and be joyfully wrong.
Several edible hat companies emerged, creating high-end truffle caviar hats alongside simple man’s milk chocolate hats.
At the end of sports games, the fans of the losing teams would go gnaw on hats together. President runner-ups would humbly eat a hat as they congratulated the winning candidate. Even Miss Solar System runner-ups would nibble on tiny low carb hats when they did not win.
Which brings us back to the Hat War of 2170. What happens when two wealthy conglomerates face-off, each sending the other hundreds of edible hats, both unwilling to admit they were wrong? Well, thus begins the Hat War.
Morgan Molinda head of Bugo Bots and Google’s CEO Dorris Deedlee, two hot shots unwilling to eat their hats, sent their employees out to Central Park with all the edible hats they had each sent to the other, for a massive hat eating contest.
The winner will be declared the most stubborn.
