NEWS
The Intergalactic
Space Chronicle
Return of the Cyborg Putins
By M.B. Alexander
After decades of a nearly lawful exchange of leaders in Russia, someone had the bright idea of reviving Putin in cyborg form.
But this Putin was never intended for the throne. This almost delightful android was created as a fun nanny for Russian children.
It seems that Russian parents are digging this idea of disciplining their children with a replica of their former dictator and secret oligarch king.
Though he is not programmed to kill anyone who grabs a ball from your kid on a playground, he will tap the kid's parents' home and then arrange their deportation to Serbia in the dead of winter.
But those are not the only skills of nanny Putin. This helpful caregiver makes sure you get your return on having kids by putting together a personalized labor camp for kids, and if needed, your neighbor's kids. Think of all the gardening you could get done!
Now, I wouldn’t try to turn him off, because you can’t. This is one of those now return situations. Once you have him, he’s there to stay.
Cyborg Putin for nanny, for all those who miss living in tyranny.
