NEWS
The Intergalactic
Space Chronicle
Nudist Aliens Cause Controversy at Public Pool
By Wolf Gnat
It’s a tough subject. But let’s just dip our toes in it. Should extraterrestrial beings who have a completely different body anatomy than Homo sapiens be subject to human public pool/beach etiquette? Should they be forced to cover up private bits that they don’t necessarily have?
According to several public beaches and pools to open up this summer, the answer is yes, absolutely. Whether you’re an electric sphere of energy or a smooth-skinned grey tall visitor of this human planet, you are expected to wear some form of water suit.
Our question at the paper is why? Why would it bother us to see an alien butt or none-butt for that matter? Why must a species that is not just culturally different, but also biologically dissimilar abide by human aesthetic values?
If they do have private bits, are they accustomed to covering them up with fabric? What if they find fabric appalling? Why do we as people need other people to conform to their perspective of life and fabric?
The aliens who wanted to join in on the summer water festivities tried to accommodate the dress code. But many of them were not sure where to place the bikinis and jockstraps. Some thought their bathing brief’s fit their heads better and served as good protection from the sun, aka a hat.
It was ET on the fritz with pool-goers covering their children’s eyes and twitting furiously in protest, all while the extraterrestrials stared at them nakedly.
What can we say? Is this a "Live and let live" situation or is this a "Let’s respect each other’s cultural boundaries" sort of thing? These are the tough choices we all must face when encountering "The other" in a shared space with the intention of peace.
