CULTURE
The Intergalactic
Space Chronicle
No Sitting on the Public Therapy Benches!
As part of the “Urban Chillax” project, therapy benches have been scattered in parks worldwide. The Therapy Benches have holograms of famous figures throughout history and fictional characters that are beloved by most people, who have been converted into hologram versions of themselves.
The holograms sit by your side on the bench, in a friendly manner. They are programmed to listen to whatever irks you and give you advice. You can speak to a variety of people, from Alanis Morissette to Bill Gates, Oprah to Jimmy Kimmel. If you don’t find a counselor that is right for you, the programmers Lira and Docker, ask that you let them know, and they will do their best to recreate that figure for you.
But all this fun, and therapy, of course, has been put to a complete halt, as this year’s sucky virus has forced us all to stay indoors while little robots sanitize the city.
Before the directive to shut all of corporeal life down, I did manage to snag a conversation with Melinda Gates on a bench, who assured me that humanity would survive this hardship as we have survived so many others before.
Thank you hologram Melinda, I miss you and I will come back to talk to you about my fear of waking up as a marginal Simpsons’ character when I die.