A New Winter Threat - Possessive Blankets
By M.B. Alexander
We all love our blankets and though it was a little weird at first when they became smart blankets engineered to love us back, we appreciated the odd affection.
But this winter after some of us upgraded our lovable blankets, we found that there is a thing called too much love. When a blanket becomes obsessed, you may see a parent picking up their kids from school with it snuggled to their backs, like the awkward cape, you never wanted.
Or perhaps you’ve caught one of these blankets at a cafe gripping its host on a date that’s gone a bit sideways.
Maybe you’ve seen one of these blankets doing their worst at a supermarket. Exploiting the frozen aisle for some extra cuddles.
Well, it is certainly a serious threat we are facing this winter. Some blankets have been causing severe marital problems as couples struggle to reach for each other, their possessive blanket cocooning them into extreme lazy comfort.
Work productivity has also gone down as these blankets lol their host to sleep. Not to mention the threat of dehydration, as people struggle to free themselves from these blankets to fetch a glass of water.
If you are one of those entangled in a symbiotic relationship with their blankets, we know it’s hard. After all, they do love you so. But every once a while you must free yourself from these snuggle feasts and do something with your life!
