NEWS
The Intergalactic
Space Chronicle
Malfunctioning Invisible Cloaks
By Louise Farfell
Invisibility Org, Inc. has been shut down from time to time, and it is reported that it will soon be shut down again, amidst reports of several malfunctioning cloaks, possibly resulting in a new legal ban on the product.
Fernie Alfalfa, a middle aged space fuel rep, did not want to wrinkle her suit for her business conference, so stored it in her handbag and traveled through space naked, secure with the knowledge her invisible cloak would protect her against prying eyes. Imagine her shock when she became visible before she had a chance to get dressed. Such malfunction gives new meaning to the phrase, "Being undressed by his/her/their eyes".
Farfel Ho He Ha, from Japan, reported her children discovered her drinking wine in the living room. She wanted to see how her children were behaving when no one was watching and was wearing one of the cloaks. Although she was pleased to see they were doing nothing "untoward", she was also very bored. After the first glass of wine she had another, and then another, etc. Low and behold, her cover was suddenly revealed, and the children will never trust her again.
The tales and lawsuits are piling up, and Invisibility Org. Inc. has been pressed to offer compensation and correct the flaws causing these malfunctions, immediately, or face being shut down, or worse yet, going bankrupt. They have issued a recall to all cloaks purchased this past month.
Spokesperson for the company, Translucent Lucy, said, "We are very sorry for the inconvenience. We will work out the kinks as soon as possible. Disappearing should not be such a difficult feat, and we aim to provide this improved product before Christmas."
Although the consumers are disgruntled, they fear the outlawing of these very convenient items. We here at the paper are not sure of the fairness or morality using these products and are reserving our opinion until further news.
