TECH
The Intergalactic
Space Chronicle
Does Your Embryo Need a Higher Education?
By Aidelyn Neuman
A lot of anxious parents in the year 2171 feel that their little ones are coming out of the artificial womb pods, unbaked. Many think their newborns are just not up to par with society today. This concern has left many experts to turn their attention to embryo education.
Due to the delicate nature of the reproductive process, direct cerebral downloading software has been deemed illegal on Earth and most humanoid space colonies, for the unborn and children under the age of two, up till recently.
But now many parents are complaining about the competitive entrance level to their pre-school of choice. They are downloading more and more information, in a short period, into their two-year-olds’ fragile brain.
This overload on their brain is leading to a lot of unruly behaviors on the tots’ part, such as: joy riding the family hover boards without permission right into mid-afternoon traffic, reprogramming the level 2 Android maid to make extreme fart noises while cleaning and arguing about politics when it's time to go to bed.
Some developmental physiologists suggest that these parents are downloading age-irrelevant information to their little one's brain. Professor Grawk of Columbia University, says “We must let our toddlers be toddlers. We must fight the temptation to turn them into seasoned virtual reality programmers by the age of two.”
But others are arguing that we live in a fast-paced world and babies need to “get to with the program”. This notion seems to have opened a whole new market of demand for embryo education. No one wants their baby to be born unprepared for the real world.
Programs like Harvard’s Tech for Babies is now developing a program that will enable the unborn to receive a diploma before they take their first breath.
Naturalists around the globe are furious. But what's new? It's not like they’ll be sending their avatars to the congress steps.
So what will the new newborn look like? Is babbling passe’? No more will we say, “This baby doesn't understand the philosophy behind Dr.Suess”?
