TECH
The Intergalactic
Space Chronicle
Sonic Cat Ears - A New Way of Hearing
By William Freedman
Cats, cats, cats!! Cats in hats, android cats, talking cats, smelly cats, they seem to be everywhere. What is our fascination with these sleek snobby creatures? Or what is their’s with us? Okay, their’s is probably because of the whole “we give you food" thing. But “the cat” industry always comes back with more to offer us.
This year they have created a neat new device that is already over-ordered: Ultrasonic Cat Ears.
The exceptional hearing of cats has been researched for decades. In the late 21st century mutant cats were already being used by the military for covert assignments and secret affairs to eavesdrop on an enemy or component. That led to a lot of suspicion and wrongful allegations against innocent cats until using mutant cats became illegal.
But they could never shake the stigma of being untrustworthy spy-prone creatures.
To counter this unfair prejudice the cat association decided to level the playing field. Give all people the option of supersonic hearing.
They funded scientist Bon Balance and his cat Loti’s new invention of cat-ears for humans. With these new spectacular and fashionable gadgets, you could hear a conversation on the other side of the street. You could tune into any apartment in your building. Even eavesdrop on the aerial car near you while traveling to work. Who needs a radio, right?
Despite the marvelous attributes of this nifty tech some people are justifiably concerned about the implications it may have on us as a society. Will this lead to a boom in soundproof homes? Will we find ourselves whispering suspiciously at the remote corner of the park? Is texting gonna make a huge comeback?
I don't necessarily want to hear other people's conversations. In fact, I would prefer the reverse technology, I want the ears of an old person from the early 21st century. I don't mind if they’re furry too.