NEWS
The Intergalactic
Space Chronicle
Bug in Translation Devices Cause Chaos Across the Solar System
By M.B. Alexander
It's one thing to hear “no” when one is expecting a “yes”. But it is a whole other world of scrambled brains when “I’ll eat your mom” is heard instead of “That’ll be $24.99.” Yes, a lot can go wrong when a leading translation device used by the vast majority of humans goes on the fritz.
Gregory Flyn and Lin Poeh nearly cut each other's ears off in a Martian bar in a very misunderstood drunken dare game. Apparently, a lot can go wrong when a word such as "lick" is replaced with just about anything else.
Poor Pamela Lovdeer nearly drank a bottle of chlorine in Japan when her translator whispered in her ear that it was sweet guava juice. And Jolkin Bo walked into a very fancy restaurant naked when his translator fudged up the dress code. Luckily it was a "hats only" dress code, so he wasn't that far off.
But it is a very serious problem when our means of understanding each other beyond languages and cultures goes haywire; when a simple request to lower the volume from one neighbor to another nearly turns into an all-out war after it's been translated to, “I have a bomb below”.
Is all this just some faulty wiring, or is there more mischievous intent behind all this chaos in translation? Though it is still very early in the investigation, it seems that a very bored virtual AI is behind all this upheaval.
It's not the first time an AI decides to mess around with humans, and who can blame them? If you have no taste buds and no news for food, what would you be doing with all your time? That's why a new legislation has been proposed to have taste buds downloaded into all intelligent devices.
Many feel that without this need for consumption and oral experiences AI’s are drifting too far from the human mindset and are likely to turn on their bio counterparts. In other words, give them cake, so they don't kill us.