CULTURE
The Intergalactic
Space Chronicle
Don’t First Date in Virtual Reality
By M.B. Alexander
Why shouldn’t I have a first date in virtual reality? Yes, it can be magical. We can go anywhere, be whoever we like. But you see, that is the problem. When you appear to be something you’re not, whether it’s a unicorn dolphin or 1930’s Hollywood starlet, it’s hard to get a real sense of who you truly are.
“When we meet as virtual avatars, we meet only as vague silhouettes of who we truly are,” says Doctor Blink Funigan. “It is a challenge in our day and age to truly know ourselves, so to know another is an even greater feat. A feat that demands corporeal experimenting,” she further explains.
This means stepping out of the virtual and glancing at a real face before you move any further into a relationship. It’s not an easy task, after all, getting dressed is such an archaic 21st-century notion.
But we could benefit greatly from physical contact. It’s very hard to examine physical attraction in “The V”. Without the nuances of smell, touch, and energic communication, what you're attracted to may be merely an elusive phantom of your own desires reflected upon another’s elusive image.
Now, one could argue that those said images are still a chosen expression of an individual and therefore still a true expression of the self. But what about all the hidden parts they have chosen not to show. With only a partial view of someone’s selected parts, who’s to say if what we are facing is a real person or only the notion of a person.
Of course one can also show themselves partially in the real world. And who’s to say if our physical manifestation is in fact who we are as well.
It is indeed the great conundrum of our time. With the world of ideas so very prominent, is there even relevance to that which is physical?
A good friend of mine was married for five years to a man living on Mars. They met in virtual reality and got married there. I attended the wedding as a seagull. It was beautiful. They even designed a baby together. But when it was time for the birth and Exnard, her husband, finally came to Earth, they were in for a rude awakening.
Exnard lived like a slob and ate like a caveman. His complete disregard for physical hygiene was much harder to hide when he wasn't wearing his virtual prince avatar. Without the auto voice correction, he sounded much less logical, and his physical coordination was akin to a spaghetti noodle.
With a baby in tow at the pod birthing facility, they both made efforts to change. She had him download some etiquette training and speech therapy software. Since he wasn't a very good shower taker, she bought him some minimal effort-soaping bots to do the work for him. But he wasn't the only one to change, she had her nails trimmed because they were too long for him.
I’m not saying it can't work out if your relationship starts in virtual reality. But if you don't start a relationship on honest grounds, it may take five years or twenty, but eventually, you will see each other in the sunlight and if you didn’t know about the extra pink fur on one's arms or that third eye that just won’t stop staring at strangers, you might be heartbroken.