TECH
The Intergalactic
Space Chronicle
The Fairy God-Hacker
By M.B. Alexander
When most people think of hackers, an image of an anarchist genius coder, a spy, or a bored toddler might come to mind. But a new hacker is lurking on the web and he/she or it is not like anything you could ever imagine.
This mysterious hacker has earned the nickname, “Fairy God-Hacker” after “fixing” the lives of hundreds of strangers. This new hacker has been tapping into phone conversations, bank accounts, dating apps, medical files, and the most intimate problems individuals are hiding in their virtual files, just so he can solve them.
Lee Anna, a young woman who couldn’t afford a bionic lung replacement, woke up Monday morning to find an appointment on her calendar for a full organ replacement surgery, all paid for by the “Friendly Hacker.”
Tubby Punter was knee-deep in crippling debt to countless banks after his “Rockets for Toddlers” start-up went belly up. But after some Fairy God-Hacker dust was scattered all over his finances, the next morning Tubby not only discovered he was debt-free, but his failed start-up came back to life, as every person on Earth saw a commercial for his product projected onto all of their devices upon waking up.
Then there was Kai Baka, a lonely young man whose love life brought him great misery. For him, the Fairy God-Hacker scanned the personal files of ten billion people across the solar system and found twenty of the most compatible people for Kai. But the hacker didn’t stop there. An invitation was sent to all candidates to an all-paid love resort with high-level humanoid android couple counselors and professional wingmen on staff to help with establishing a connection. Kai ended up marrying all twenty of the candidates, and they are now designing a baby from all of their DNA.
Why this person has decided to help all these strangers is unclear. But one thing is for sure: this magical keyboard pusher is bringing hope to the hearts of billions worldwide.