The Nut Cracker is a nifty little smart bot that can fit into your pocket. It’ll listen to all your sorrows and thoughts and calculate the perfect reply for your circumstance. It uses traditional and non-traditional psychology, so your bot may tell you to do anything from changing your name and living an alternate life for a year, to going through a tech-carnation and changing all your organs to machine parts, or perhaps just some good old memory extractions. There’s nothing like cutting out the pain with a good old memory remover.

Hopefully, you’re not the one that your loony friend wants to remove from their mind for giving them such a gift.

But truly, talking about things that bother you is essential to feeling better and living a full life. Speaking to any bio or mechanic being will help you gain perspective or at least lighten the load, even if they say the wrong thing or run out of batteries while you’re speaking.

The best part of The Nut Cracker is it’s not limited to sofas in a stuffy office. Take your mini psychologist shopping, go to the park, lounge at a cafe, keep them by your bedside for nightmares.

Will it look weird if you sit at a cafe and talk to a miniature doll, sure, but we’ve already established that we’re all off our rocker, so the real challenge is being transparent about it. Will they give you bad advice, maybe, but if you’re stuck in a mental place sometimes any movement will do. What if you like yourself the way you are, loose bolts and all, well then buy them for their fashion advice. They may be small, but their fashion choices are mighty.