TECH
The Intergalactic
Space Chronicle
Best Toys of the Year 2171
By Aidelyn Neuman
It's time to open your hearts and your wallets because you will want to buy all these gifts for yourself. But we do hope you avoid the temptation to keep them all and give at least half of these toys to others.
1. Fly Gum
Technically this new tech-chucked gum won't make you fly, but rather float or hover below a disgusting bubble covered with your germy saliva.
How does it work? The gum is actually flavored nano-particles with anti-gravitational components. When one chews the gum-like substance and blows a bubble, a chain reaction is ignited that raises the bubble in the air along with its chewer.
2. Bio-engineered Personal Flying Reindeer
Imagine arriving at your office party or school Christmas party with your very own flying reindeer, who also speaks fluent French. Why does it matter? Because let's face it, anything in French sounds good. “I need to poo” sounds fancy in French.
How does it work? It's basic bio-engineering with a Christmas edge. A dash of reindeer DNA sprinkled with pterodactyl DNA and you have yourself a very powerful flying beast that would put Santa to shame.
3. Hologram Monster Face Designer by Google Flash Face
Everyone who's anyone uses Flash Face tech on occasion. Especially when your face is a mess after twelve hours straight in Virtual reality, and you have to go out to the “real” world to buy some emergency calcium deposits for your food printer, or you won't have any ice cream tonight. But what if instead of a normal human decoy face, you could just design your own fantastical monster holographic face with easy holo-touch tech.
How does it work? It's the same hologram face projections we all know and love, with a creative edge that makes every day Halloween.
4. Avian Humanoids Virtual Reality
Live inside the alien culture of the Bird People. Soar the heavens among them, dance in their tribal ceremonies, and build luxury pyramids with your mind, telepathically.
How does it work? It's basic virtual reality with an anthropological edge. Made by an Avian team of designers to maximize the authenticity of your experience.
5. Mini Rockets
Ever feel like visiting your favorite Earth-orbiting diner without the hassle of gearing up the whole kit and caboodle of your spacecraft? Not in the mood for space-carpooling either? A Mini Rocket might be just the things for you.
How does it work? It's a functional relatively safe rocket for one passenger. It's only good for very short trips in your planet's orbital vicinity and has no restroom or shower. Just you launching up to heavens for a piece of pie at your favorite diner.
These are my top picks for this season. Honorable mentions would be travel stamps that give you a nice virtual reality trip to anywhere you like and Pen Pal automated pens that write the loveliest handwritten notes for you.