NEWS
The Intergalactic
Space Chronicle
Attack of the Dead Dead -
By M.B. Alexander
When your spacecraft hits a pocket of cremated human remains in spaced bullet-like funerary urns . . .
Hmm. . . you’re off on the greatest adventure of your life. You’ve planned it for years. You saved and ultimately bought the absolute finest spacecraft. One with those dark wooden floors you always wanted and a large kitchen with a nice anti-gravity dishwasher. You named it Carpe Diem or Ahoy, and off you were catching an electromagnetic wave into the far reaches of space.
That is, until, you collide with an unexpected storm of metal bullet-like cylinders that put hundreds of dents in your newly aqua blue painted vessel.
Yes, that’s what happens when you collide with a space cemetery.
The problem is, it’s very hard to map out these clusters of human remains. What started out as a lovely gesture to the dead, sending fragments of your loved ones out into open space, is now a real safety hazard. The finger-size urns gravitate towards each other and drift through space in groups, creating a rather unpleasant localized drizzle of the dead.
So if your uncle Bob or your aunt Hilda were nice people, ask yourself one thing: would they want to attack space crafts beyond the grave? If they do, ask yourself if they deserve such a pricy send off.
